You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
