ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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