He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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