Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
