Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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