covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
