just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
