i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
