If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
