So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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