Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize