how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
