Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
