I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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