Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
