the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize