Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
