I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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