I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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