the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
