The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize