PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
