where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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