Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
pray to the hookup gods
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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