I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
