imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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