Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
