if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
