Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
