it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
