I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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