I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
