I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
