I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
