he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Floor bacon is actually really good
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
