This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Alive.
So much puke
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
