Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize