Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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