i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
