Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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