"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
