apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
