what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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