I don't think brook has ever known best
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
