I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
