I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
