Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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