Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
