So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
