only you would photoshop your dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
