I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.