in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
