I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!