Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
