I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize