Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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