but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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